he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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