1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
