i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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