so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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