mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
