Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
