i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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