Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Alive.
So much puke
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
