hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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