I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
