i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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