Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
