Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
