and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
