I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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