She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
