Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
