and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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