forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
