Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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