stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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