Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
