I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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