The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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