what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
