I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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