My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
