Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize