Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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