can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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