New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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