i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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