Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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