M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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