She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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