M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
that may or may not have been my penis.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
