i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
