I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
