wakey wakey hands off snakey
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
