Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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