so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
