I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
