Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize