ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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