Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
