More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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