I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
