yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
