you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
