I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Can you bring me the toilet please
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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