we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Drake has all the answers
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
