2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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