my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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