just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize