She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
