I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have fence marks all over my body
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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