Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
