it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize