Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
